So I went home on my lunch. I may be a loser with no self control, but at least I'm high. I've been thinking about detoxing a lot recently. I'm gonna kinda be forced to detox for a while after this weekend for financial reasons. I'm kinda worried about that. I don't really care about being sick, I don't have a heavy enough habit to really be that bad. I'm worried about if I'll still be able to cope sober though. I'm doing more than coping now. I'm actively happy that we're through. Don't get me wrong, in a perfect world she wouldn't have turned out the way she did, but I'd rather be alone than with who she is right now. I've also accepted what she is, for a long time I tried to lie to myself. As bad as it sounds I thought it would take longer to get over her because the sex was so good. I didn't really get over the last girl that was like that in bed until I got together with the wife. So I'm worried that when I get off the junk and my libido comes back, I'm gonna start mourning the loss of all that really great sex. It was amazing, I would upload some pictures, but I'm pretty sure it violates the terms of service. Maybe I'll post one of the ones where she is covered in blood. I consider that art rather than pornography. Anyways I'm nodding off at the keyboard. I'm gonna rinse some cottons and maybe take a nap. My life is so hard.