not sure how long i can keep this up.

I think I'm gonna have to call it quits soon. If nothing else, just for financial reasons. I've spent far too much money I don't have on dope. I'm still gonna get wasted this weekend, because tomorrow is pay day, but I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I still want one last night with the wife, but I'm conflicted. She told me to call her when I scored. I had just spent a couple of hours, talking it up. I know how to push her buttons. I know what makes her wheels turn. Yesterday she didn't respond to the one text I sent her. I get the feeling that she's scared. I don't like that one bit. I think what I'm gonna do, is not call her when I score. I don't want her scared to talk to me. I think I'm just going to pretend that Tuesday never happened. I won't call her when I score. Ill just post it here, so that she can call me if she wants. Id love to have her come spend one last night this weekend. Only if she wants to though. Hopefully that will be enough to keep her from being scared to talk to me.