Still a bad person

So. I'm not dead. I actually stopped stabbing myself on Dec 17th 2010. It's always Dec 17th for some reason. I have barely thought about this blog, or my whore of an ex-wife (we are still legally married) in the last 2 years. I just haven't had anything that I needed to get out of my head that I wasn't willing to let anyone know. I read my posts now, and although I remember the feelings, and I often actually remember writing the posts, it seems like a different person. I had forgotten how fucked in the head I was when she left me. Guess I forgot because drinking every night will do that to you. I'm thinking about quitting the booze now. It really is a shitty high. I think it might be making me stupid too. not quite crack stupid, but definitely worse than the smack ever was. Maybe I'll start a new blog and call it "I like driving drunk, and you're a piece of shit if you have a problem with that" I like the ring of that. I hesitated to post this at all. My last post seemed like such a fitting end. It seemed like there was a certain art to the flow of the blog. I almost feel as if I am ruining something beautiful by admitting that I am not dead. This entire blog was created with at most an audience of 1 in mind. So. If you're reading this, and you've read the rest, let me know. Should I leave this post in place, or was it better as it was? If you'll excuse me I need to finish my beer and drive to the store for some smokes.