Okay, I'm worried.

The wife is drinking. She has never been a drinker. She was really into speed and pharmies when she was really young, but cleaned up when she was 17. She was clean for almost 6 years. Right before we got together she shot speed for the first time with her then boyfriend. I convinced her to leave him by dumping my GF and promising we would be together. At this point I had almost 8 years clean. There were some rough patches near the beginning when I had to literally hold her down to prevent her from going out and getting speed. Things got better real quick though. I unfortunately erased all my good doing when I gave her her first shot of heroin. Fast forward to now. When she first started drinking it was a couple of shots and barely getting a buzz. She said it was okay, because she had never had a problem with alcohol, She was drinking socially, and she was barely getting a buzz. This in and of itself worried me. I will admit some of the reasons are selfish. I don't want her having sex with anyone. Her drinking increases the chances that she will have sex with someone. I don't have any real right to not want her to have sex with anyone. So this argument isn't really valid. I'm jealous that she is having fun, in such an irresponsible manner, partially because it is without me. Once again not a valid reason for her to not drink. It hurts that she was so adamant about not being in what she called an unhealthy relationship with me, when Healthy seems so far from her mind in other ways. This makes me seriously doubt all of her stated reasons for terminating the relationship with extreme prejudice. This might be unfair though, as she really has become healthier in many ways. She is going to the gym, continuing therapy, and as far as I know mostly staying single. I don't know if that is only so she can flirt with more men though. I'm sure she would argue that she doesn't flirt, but I've seen her. Perhaps she really believes she isn't flirting. She could just be doing what she finds gives her the best response back from men, without realizing what she is doing. Perhaps she does it subconsciously, as it gives her self esteem a boost, and makes her feel good. But I digress. There is of course the obvious risks associated with drinking. It ruins your decision making skills. She also makes herself a target of many predators. Although she probably enjoys the self esteem boost being wanted gives her. None of that is really new though. My single biggest concern though is the fact that she is an addict. Her alcohol use, is a real problem. Her denial of this problem is indicative of being an addict. She also has Hep C. Drinking will shorten her life. She is literally killing herself, but she doesn't see a problem. I talk to her every day, but generally not for long. We often have deep conversations, but she has made it clear that when I talk to her about her alcohol use, she views it as me lecturing her. She thinks it is terrible hypocrisy. I agree that my drug use is currently a much bigger problem than her alcohol use. Anyways, because of this, I don't know how often she is currently drinking. Last week it was supposedly 2 or 3 times. What I do know however, is that she is currently drunk, not slightly buzzed. This concerns me. In less than 2 weeks she has progressed from a couple of really weak shots, to really drunk. I'm concerned with the speed of the progression. Alcohol is a really sneaky dangerous drug. I know this as I had a multi year problem with it after I quit heroin. Honestly I don't think that her drinking is currently negatively impacting her life very much. I am however concerned that a) she won't realize it when it does begin to negatively impact her life, and b) she won't quit drinking when she does realize it. I don't understand how her best friend justifies supporting her drinking. Not that I am judging her, or honestly have any room to talk, after I shot her up with all sorts of drugs. I don't believe she is any more conscious of the dangers than the wife is. I also don't believe she would do anything to hurt my wife on purpose. There is however a concerning lack of maturity in both of them. As evidenced by the fact that the wife trashed our marriage, apparently because she wanted to be more irresponsible. I know the wife won't listen to me. She has rarely heeded my warnings on anything, and just because I've been right much of the time, is no reason to start now, right? For this reason If I get a chance to talk to her about it tomorrow, I will ask for only one thing. To please talk to her mother. Her mother is a recovering alcoholic, with much more experience and wisdom concerning this issue. Just as importantly she tends to listen better to her mother. I could say the exact same things, and not have any effect. To wrap this up, although I would being lying if I said I did not have selfish reasons for wanting the wife to stop drinking, I am much more concerned for her, and her well being, than I am hurt of jealous. I just hope that she doesn't wait until something terrible that cannot be undone has happened, to quit drinking. I've got to wake up in an hour and fifteen minutes, so I had better stop now. Good luck, and good night.

P.S. It might not seem like much, but I am proud of myself for not trying to bang her out while she was drunk. For some reason her being drunk makes me want her more. How fucking sick is that?